This Is What Family Does
The word belong can mean two things. You can hold something up and say, “This belongs to me.” Or you can walk in a room and say, “I belong here.” Same word, very different statements. Belonging isn’t about what I have, it’s about where I have a place.
Belonging is personal, and that is where things get interesting when it comes to following Jesus. The phrase you need a personal relationship with Jesus shouldn’t be confused with you need an individual relationship with Jesus.
The Bible never calls our spiritual walk an individual journey.
The tension is that we want a place where we belong, and the word family carries different things for different people. Some of us hear warmth. Some of us hear hurt. So, we’re not starting with an idealized picture of family.
Belonging is personal, and that is where things get interesting when it comes to following Jesus. The phrase you need a personal relationship with Jesus shouldn’t be confused with you need an individual relationship with Jesus.
The Bible never calls our spiritual walk an individual journey.
The tension is that we want a place where we belong, and the word family carries different things for different people. Some of us hear warmth. Some of us hear hurt. So, we’re not starting with an idealized picture of family.
Belonging isn’t just something that comforts me; belonging confronts me.
Belonging confronts the idea that I can follow Jesus and be disconnected from the people He’s placed around me. And sometimes, we want Jesus without always wanting the people Jesus brings with Him.
You can’t have the Savior without the family He saved.
Family doesn’t always get it right. That’s not to say we allow bad behavior or don’t strive for health – of course we do. But we can’t say, “My faith is just between Jesus and me, and I don’t need the thing He died for – I don’t need the church.”
Something We Are
Context matters. In the Book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul is writing to Christians in Ephesus who are learning what it means that Jesus created one new people out of people who previously didn’t belong together.
Ephesians 2
11 Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth…
And Paul is speaking in the middle of religious, cultural, and social division.
Ephesians 2
14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.
Paul tells them to remember where they came from. Jesus took people who didn’t belong together and made them one. It was part of the work of salvation.
Ephesians 2
17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.
18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
Something We Are
Context matters. In the Book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul is writing to Christians in Ephesus who are learning what it means that Jesus created one new people out of people who previously didn’t belong together.
Ephesians 2
11 Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth…
And Paul is speaking in the middle of religious, cultural, and social division.
Ephesians 2
14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.
Paul tells them to remember where they came from. Jesus took people who didn’t belong together and made them one. It was part of the work of salvation.
Ephesians 2
17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near.
18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
Jesus didn’t just die to bring you near to God. He died to bring us near to each other.
Ephesians 2
19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.
Paul’s saying that since Jesus did this, here’s the new reality. Jesus didn’t ask a bunch of church people to become family. Jesus MADE us family. That’s different.
19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.
Paul’s saying that since Jesus did this, here’s the new reality. Jesus didn’t ask a bunch of church people to become family. Jesus MADE us family. That’s different.
Family isn’t something we “do,” it’s something we ARE because of what Jesus has DONE.
So, while we all have preferences, differences, or ways that God has wired us, those things are not the prerequisites for belonging – Jesus sets that standard.
Something We Become
We’re already a family. The question is whether we’ll live like it. Are we going to be the family Jesus has already made us?
Ephesians 2
20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.
Members of His household – you live there, you have a place there. These are your people. Something happens when a thing becomes yours. There’s a big difference between kids being “their” kids vs. “your” kids.
Something We Become
We’re already a family. The question is whether we’ll live like it. Are we going to be the family Jesus has already made us?
Ephesians 2
20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.
Members of His household – you live there, you have a place there. These are your people. Something happens when a thing becomes yours. There’s a big difference between kids being “their” kids vs. “your” kids.
Relationship changes the way I see what’s happening.
And that’s the language Paul is using – you’re not just a bunch of people who happen to meet at the same building once a week – you’re members of the same household. You can attend an event anonymously, but you can’t be part of a family anonymously.
At an event, you can sit where you want, enjoy what happens, and when it’s over, you can leave without anyone really knowing you were there.
At an event, you can sit where you want, enjoy what happens, and when it’s over, you can leave without anyone really knowing you were there.
In a family, presence matters.
That’s belonging. It’s more than walking into a room, it’s looking around and realizing the people in it have a place in your life. This is where belonging becomes beautiful because there are seasons when you need people who know more than your name, you need people who know when you’re not yourself, you need people who can hear “I’m fine” and know you’re not, or people who will pray for you when you don’t have the words to pray for yourself.
That’s family.
And that’s not just done for us, it’s something we actively do for each other.
Ephesians 2
20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
Paul takes it even further – household becomes house. Jesus is the cornerstone, and the cornerstone determines everything else. It sets the direction. Jesus is the One the whole thing is built around.
Ephesians 2
21 In him the whole building is joined together….
God isn’t collecting a pile of individual bricks. He’s building something. We can all sing in the same room, sing the same songs, listen to the same sermon, and believe the same things. We can be physically close to one another but not really connected.
That’s family.
And that’s not just done for us, it’s something we actively do for each other.
Ephesians 2
20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
Paul takes it even further – household becomes house. Jesus is the cornerstone, and the cornerstone determines everything else. It sets the direction. Jesus is the One the whole thing is built around.
Ephesians 2
21 In him the whole building is joined together….
God isn’t collecting a pile of individual bricks. He’s building something. We can all sing in the same room, sing the same songs, listen to the same sermon, and believe the same things. We can be physically close to one another but not really connected.
You’re part of what God is building.
Your presence matters, your gifts matter, and your story matters. What God is forming in you matters to what God is forming in those around you. This is why your Christian faith isn’t just about you – that’s why it can’t be your “personal individual relationship with Jesus” alone.
Paul doesn’t say we’re being built next to each other, we’re being built together. And all of it is being aligned around Jesus. That’s the picture of the church. Jesus is at the center.
Ephesians 2
21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
He brings together people who don’t naturally fit together. He’s tearing down walls, making family, and building a place where His presence can be known. He’s not just building a room full of people who believe in Jesus, he’s building a people through whom the presence of Jesus can be seen.
We need to belong to each other because Jesus is still the cornerstone, we’re still His household, and the Spirit is still building something in us.
Paul doesn’t say we’re being built next to each other, we’re being built together. And all of it is being aligned around Jesus. That’s the picture of the church. Jesus is at the center.
Ephesians 2
21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.
He brings together people who don’t naturally fit together. He’s tearing down walls, making family, and building a place where His presence can be known. He’s not just building a room full of people who believe in Jesus, he’s building a people through whom the presence of Jesus can be seen.
We need to belong to each other because Jesus is still the cornerstone, we’re still His household, and the Spirit is still building something in us.
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