Why Are We So Afraid?

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night because you heard a noise? The something-is-definitely-wrong-in-my-house noise that ends up being nothing. There’s no real issue, nothing actually happened, but the fear you feel is incredibly real.

It’s strange how something can be completely safe yet still feel completely unsafe. It’s not a moment of panic or crisis, rather a low-grade hum underneath everything. It’s comparable to when your phone is at 12%, you’re not in danger, but you’re not at peace.

For many of us, that hum doesn’t just stay in moments like that, it follows us and leads us to ask:

• Am I okay?
• Am I secure?
• Am I enough?

Now, not all fear is bad. Some fear is actually good, even necessary. Fear can protect you and teach you.

Proverbs 9
10The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

But that’s not the kind of fear John is talking about in 1 John 4. He’s talking about a deeper fear. Not the kind that protects, but rather the kind that positions you against people. The kind that pulls back, withholds, distances, protects, or hardens.

We’re living in a moment where this kind of fear is everywhere. It’s not just “out there,” it shows up in the church, too. Fear doesn’t just make you anxious, it makes you guarded.

Why does fear make us guarded?
Genesis 3 is a great example, through Adam and Eve. What happened when they did something wrong? They hid. Why? They’re not sure where they stand with God anymore. And from that moment on, humanity has been asking the same question, “Where do I stand with Him?”

Fear isn’t just emotional, it’s theological.

At the deepest level, fear is telling you what you believe is true about God, and what you believe is true about you. Because underneath all of it is the quiet belief that when we stand before God, we aren’t enough.

Our minds don’t stop there, they go on:

• If I’m not enough, then I’m accountable.
• If I’m accountable, then something is owed.
• If something is owed, then there’s a penalty.

And if there’s a penalty, then judgment is coming. If that question is not settled, fear doesn’t leave, it moves into every space and area in your life. As a result, fear starts to shape And if there’s a penalty, then judgment is coming. If that question isn't settled, fear doesn’t leave, it moves into every space and area of your life. As a result, fear starts to shape everything.

Without realizing it, we start relating to God from a place of uncertainty and insecurity. We believe in Him, we sing to Him, we love Him, but we’re not fully convinced we’re secure in Him.

What does Jesus say about all this?
Jesus didn’t come to help us manage fear, He came to remove it.

Have you ever been driving, minding your own business, when you saw a police car? Your mind and body react like you might be in trouble, even if you’re not. So essentially, you’re acting like you’re afraid of getting a ticket or being arrested for going 3 MPH over the speed limit.

Fear isn’t just about what’s happening, it’s about what we think is coming next. Our fear is connected to something… punishment.

Fear has to do with punishment.

In Greek, punishment means penalty. A debt that must be paid. This is courtroom language. Before a holy God, something is owed because of our sin. And John says that’s what fear is tied to – punishment. Not just what’s happening now, but what you believe is coming later.

1 John 4
17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.

Even though we have a debt to pay, we can stand before a Holy God in confidence. How? Because Jesus paid the penalty in full.

Romans 5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.

Paul says we’ve been justified. Declared right. Dept paid. Case closed.

Where does our confidence come from?
Our confidence is rooted in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the Cross.

1 John 4:16
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

Confidence in God comes from relying, not trying.

But finding that confidence is still hard. Why? Because we rely on our effort, not His love. Hebrews tells us that His blood speaks a better word – it speaks the final word on the penalty we deserve, and because of that, we can stand in confidence before Him.

“In this world, we are like Jesus.”

This means we stand before the Father the way Jesus does – fully accepted, connected, and secure.

We now share His Spirit. His life is in us. His standing before the Father has become our standing. It we can stand justified before a Holy God, we don’t have to live like we’re on trial anymore.

What does that mean?

You’re free.

You don’t need approval, control, or to secure your own future. You’re free to give, serve, and move toward people without needing something in return, needing recognition, or calculating the cost.

1 John 4
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

If fear is rooted in punishment, then the only way to remove fear is to settle punishment.

If love moves in, fear moves out.

Not because you forced it out by trying harder, but because something better took its place.

Love kicks fear out of the house. John tells us that when the love of God moves into your life, fear doesn’t get to stay. It doesn’t belong there. Again, not every day, normal fear, but the fear of punishment before God.

Presence changes things.

When His love becomes real to you, present to you, or something you’re actually relying on, it starts to change what lives inside of you.

The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We might read that and think it means if you’re a Christian and you’re afraid, you haven’t been made perfect yet. That’s not what John means. He means that someone who fears punishment hasn’t yet encountered the love of God in Jesus.

1 John 4
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

Why does John make the connection between the love of God and us loving people? Because if fear is still ruling your heart, you won’t move toward people, you will protect yourself from people. You will create distance, you will dehumanize, you will dismiss.

When you know deep down that your debt is paid, that doesn’t just remove fear vertically, it removes it horizontally. It doesn’t just give us confidence before God, it gives us love for those around us.

The clearest evidence that you’re actually experiencing the love of God is not what you sing, say, or post, it’s how you love the person right in front of you.