Are you the same person on the outside as you are on the inside?

Have you ever met someone in person who didn’t live up to the expectations you had envisioned? For example, the picture on their dating profile was a bit of a misrepresentation, or their resume was supreme, but their personality was subpar.

Things start out well, but over time, cracks appear. And this doesn’t just refer to other people, it’s us too.

We live in a world that rewards visibility over virtue. If you can post it, market it, or say it loud enough, you can get attention. If you make yourself appear impressive, you can get what you want, where you want.

But does it produce fruit that lasts or a legacy worth leaving?

Character
We’ve all been on the other side of something or someone that looked good but isn’t good. It feels like a bait-and-switch, a betrayal of trust. No one likes to be on the other side of that.

But we ALL are like that in some ways. We all have areas of our public life that differ from how we are in our private lives. We say one thing and think another. We act or talk one way around some people, but differently around others. We aspire to one thing but find ourselves falling short. So, it begs the question…

Am I the same person outside as I am inside?

This comes down to character. This is important for all of us, but especially for the places where other people look to us —where we have influence and leadership.

Our level of character starts with us, but it NEVER just affects us.

Desire is only the first step, there’s so much more. There are many forms of church leadership, and several terms are used to describe them (overseer, elder, deacon, bishop).

But that’s not the most important thing to figure out. It’s easy to make this about the org chart and miss the point. The most important thing isn’t the structure, it’s the character. It’s easy to try to turn to structure, update it, and change it when there are problems, but the root issue is character.

1 Timothy 3
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.6 Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

Integrity
We would start with skills, talents, abilities, or qualifications, but Paul’s list doesn’t.

• Blameless – Integrity – Truth and time walk hand in hand.
  This should cause us to reflect on ourselves. We can’t outrun or outperform the truth. It will always come out.
• Husband of one wife (“one woman man”) – what else, not just who else, are you married to?
• Able to teach – everything I do communicates. Taste your words before you spit them out.
• Temperate, sober-minded. What are you ruled by? Am I master of myself so I can be a servant to many?
• Not violent – not trying to control and manipulate others – not infringing on their personal “territory.” (Violent = quarrelsome, overbearing, looking for a fight or argument) Are you trying to win or project something?
• Manage his own family well – this leader leads at home FIRST. There’s a reason for this beyond it being a good thing to do. It establishes a precedent. The way you love and lead others starts with those closest to you.
• Not a recent convert – Pride will always kill what God plants.
• Paul says DON’T RUSH IT – TEST THEM.
  
  

We don’t get to qualify ourselves, someone else qualifies us.

Who do we trust with this kind of access?

When we read these verses, leadership among God’s people seems to have relatively little to do with giftedness, or even authority. It has everything to do with character. In the world around us, we seem to have become more and more content with trading character in our leaders away for expedience. Character then becomes more like a roadblock than a qualification.

But God seems to look at things differently than we often do.

1 Samuel 16:7
The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

One of the great crises in the world, and especially in the church, is that we often allow people’s talent to outrun their character in leadership. There are a whole host of well-intentioned, but ultimately misguided, things that lead us to this – pressure, urgency, fear, and even hope.

But when we allow ourselves to be driven by those things, or even to put our hope in the wrong things, and the wrong people, we end up deeply in the wrong place. This results in scandals.

This may be what the world around us does, but it ought never to be what the people of God do because we are part of an order that God is at the top of. We don’t need the talents and gifts of our leaders to save us, we need God to save us.

We need a character and consistency that points to God and echoes who He is. And if you think you’re not a leader and that this doesn’t apply to you, hold that thought.

You always have someone who is looking to you, whether you realize it or not.

And what you’re showing them, modeling to them, or leading them to will stick. They’ll carry it. We need to live our lives under the assumption that others are watching, and that what we think is private will be made public. Truth and time walk hand in hand.

So, now what?

If we humble ourselves, become honest before ourselves and others about the gaps between our public and private lives, confess our sins and our need for a savior when it comes to us, that’s where God meets us.

With His presence and power, we don’t do this alone.

Pastor Michael reminds us which of our house rules builds the house.